Why is Britney Spears still famous? The girl can't sing, she's only average in the look department and she was dumb enough to dump Justin. Hello!? Who are these people still paying to listen to that nasally voice?
Oh and while I'm on the subject of famous people who really SHOULD NOT BE...Kesha...oh my mistake, Ke$ha. Enough said.
Why do I feel like a badass when I chew gum? Like being able to chew and walk at the same time makes me superior or something...? It makes me want to go buy aviator glasses and a leather jacket.
Was it just me or did Mark Wahlberg in Fear make everyone wish they could have a stalker?
I think all my neighbors have seen me with my finger in my nose ever since I got it pierced. I like to play with it.
Have you noticed how people act like no one can see them when they're in their cars? I've seen some crazy things... I mean crazy.
Milkshakes give me diarrhea and for some reason I still love them. Mmmm milkshakes! But if you gave me diarrhea I'd probably hate you.
Who made three balls out of snow, stacked them on top of each other and said "Hey! That looks like a dude!" Complete waste of a carrot if you ask me. And why would you put a scarf on someone made of snow? Ummm I think he likes being cold.
Why do I find all kinds of stuff I want when I'm out shopping for someone else? But when I'm shopping for me I can't find crap!? It pisses me off!
I know everyone thinks this about their kids but my kids are the cutest kids in the entire world! And unlike everyone else... I'm right! They can still be a pain in the ass though.
Why do I always feel the urge to drink hard liquor after I put my kids to bed?
The best thing about gummy bears is they are so damn cute and you get to eat them up without people thinking you're psycho. Isn't it weird that people look at kids and say, "You're so cute! I just wanna eat you up!" And no one even flinches?
Why do we get drunk on New Year's Eve just so we can be hung over the next day? And then we want to complain when our year sucks... Well look how it started. That should have been a clue.
Bras with underwire suck! All you girls with little titties that can walk around with no bra on can kiss my ass!
Yea I said it!