Pansies

What's up with all these pansies?  Are there women out there who are seriously turned on by skinny jeans and swooping bangs?  (I'm talking about straight women here). How can anyone over the age of 12 look at Justin Bieber and think, "now he is hot." I mean seriously?  If you were my boyfriend, Justin I would punch you in the throat for thinking you're a stud when half the girls who like you could probably bench press more than you can.  I mean for real.  What does he weigh like 80lbs?  No offense to the skinny guys out there... Some skinny guys are strong but I just can't figure out what people think is so hot about this kid.  I mean damn, my voice is even deeper than his.  My 4year old daughter could kick his ass.  

  And what's up with all these metrosexual dudes?  Am I just old fashioned or what?  If a guy takes longer to do his hair than I do he deserves to get punched in the nuts.  What happened to tough, strong, dirty, sweaty men?  If I can't touch your hair cause it's styled and you smell better than I do than why don't I just say "fuck it" and become a lesbian?  They'd probably be better in bed than your pansie ass anyway.  (sorry Mom and Dad if your reading this). 

  Just so you know, this is all hypothetical since I'm married to a MAN who ,despite my best efforts , can still throw me over his shoulder and tickle me til I squeal like a little girl.  I'm just sayin'. 

Guys put down the hair gel and go find your balls.  PAHLEASE!!