Have you ever woken up with a 4 year old standing 2 feet in front of you staring at your face? Isn't it weird? Sometimes I wonder if she has been up for hours sipping coffee and watching cartoons before she decided to come into my room and try to burn holes through my eyeballs with her stare. Does she think since she doesn't say anything it doesn't count as waking Mommy up? We have a strict rule in this house... Well I have a strict rule which no one around here seems to want to follow. NO WAKING MOMMY UP! Hello? It's it that hard? I mean surely my kids can find a way to entertain themselves for a few hours without needing my assistance.
Everyone who knows me also knows I'm like an grizzly waking up from hibernation when I don't get enough sleep. Get the hell out of my way and give me some damn coffee. Which brings me to my second rule that no one likes to follow... No talking to mommy until she's had her coffee.
I'm not sure when I became so dependent on coffee. I used to be one of those people who just drank coffee to feel old and important. Oh yea I remember... it all started the day after I decided to push out another 8lb baby and give up on the idea of ever getting another full night of uninterrupted sleep. Duh... How could I forget that?
Now every morning I stand in front of the coffee maker with one eye open cursing it under my breath. 'Come on you damn coffee maker can't you move any faster!?'.
Don't judge me. I know I could set the coffee maker the night before but after my kids go to bed I like to pretend I'm 21 again and drink beer. Planning ahead would definitely ruin the fantasy. And besides my coffee maker and I have a love/hate relationship. I cuss at it and tell it it's useless and once it's done making my coffee I apologize and tell it how much I love it and how it's my most favorite appliance in the kitchen. Careful to whisper so the microwave doesn't hear. My microwave has a temper.
Anyway... Just sayin'. I like my coffee and my sleep. But if I had to get rid of one I would most certainly take the sleep but since sleep decided to ditch me for someone younger who doesn't deserve it I've been forced to settle for coffee. Don't tell the coffee maker I said that. He's still upset about this morning.