Saturday, July 11, 2009


Do you ever worry that you're never going to find your passion or what you are meant to do in this life? Is there a talent already there in all of us that we have to discover? Or do we have to decide what we want to do and then work at it until we are good? Or is it just different for everyone?
Ever since I was little I liked being creative. I used to make outfits for my Barbie dolls and decided I wanted to be a fashion designer. Then when I was in middle school I started writing and people told me I was good at it and it came fairly easy to me so I decided I wanted to be a writer. Then I got into high school and loved my art classes. So then I decided I was going to be an art teacher.
When I went to college and tried choosing a major Creative Writing was my first choice. But then that voice in my head started saying things like, "what if you aren't good enough?", "what if you don't get a job writing... how else will that degree help you?", "maybe you should do something that's more likely to get you a stable job", "do writers earn good money if they aren't extremely successful?" and there went that idea. So instead I chose Advertising... it had writing and art involved so I thought... "it'll be fun and look better on a resume". But the more I got into it the more I realized what a competitive field it really was... "cut throat" is actually the phrase I heard all the time. And I also realized it really just wasn't something I was passionate about. But I had just spent 4 years studying to be a copywriter for an advertising agency. So by God that was what I was going to try and do!!
But now looking back at it all I realize the main thing holding me back the entire time was my lack of confidence. Maybe I could have been an amazing fashion designer but I didn't believe in myself so I never tried to get better. I could be at a school somewhere teaching art right now. But I never made my portfolio because I didn't think it would be good and I didn't want to get rejected so I never even made an attempt. And even straight out of college with my brand new shiny degree... BACHELOR OF SCIENCE WITH A FOCUS IN ADVERTISING AND A DOUBLE MINOR IN BUSINESS AND PSYCHOLOGY... I didn't believe in myself enough to go looking for that BIG job. Eventually I did end up getting a Marketing Manager position due to some good networking and I was excited about it. I would be starting fresh and everything that came out of the marketing department would be MY idea but after about a month I realized it just wasn't the job for me. Just like the degree I had earned I loved the way it sounded but deep down I kind of felt like a phony saying the words. "I'm a Marketing Manager" more like... "I'm still looking for what I want to do but for now I'm trying to sell cleaning products for Birsch Industries."
Growing up my Dad used to always tell me how important it is to find a job you love. Something that makes you happy... and I just haven't found it yet. I know I'm still only 27 but as my life moves on and I have a family and I now know I'll probably be moving every few years it has become even more important to me that I find something that makes me happy. Something that is JUST MINE. Something I can be proud of and can help me contribute to the world even if it's just in a minute way.
So this is my way of asking the universe for help! Please help me find my niche, my passion, my love, my happiness in this world. And please give me the confidence and insight to see it when you show it to me!!!
Thanks for listening!


  1. Elaine, I am not so sure you need to have a job that you are passionate about. Sure it would be great but why can;t your job just be something that you enjoy and are good at? Your passion can be one or more things that don't have anything to do with your job. Like being a Mom, writing for yourself, painting, etc... Maybe you could setup a studio for yourself. Even if you don't have a room you can dedicate to it just use a corner of a room. My advice is to try as many things as you can and you will find your passion(s). And the only other advice I can give is not to base it on how good you are at it but how it makes you feel when you do it. I see Cindy bringing herself down at times when she makes a new piece of jewelry because she doesn't think it's as good as what's in the magazines. But who cares!!! (Even though it is). She absolutely loves doing it and most of time it makes her so happy inside when she's created a new piece.

    My friend Billy Priante once gave me some advice when I was down a lot (because of a girl). He said that being happy is a choice. We can choose to be happy or choose to be sad but it is always a choice. That actually resonated with me and I did in fact "choose" to be happy after that and it worked. A motto I like is "I know not where I may be going but be it where it may, I will go to it laughing".

  2. Thank you for linking me to this. It really does help to know that others feel the same way. You have just put a little bit of piece in my heart. I will just continue to try different things until I find something I can continue and enjoy.

    I did have something that I liked. I went to college for a computer networking degree. I even have a certification for it, but I can't do anything with it here. In fact, by the time I leave here, the certification expires. In the end, I would prefer being with my husband over doing that job.

    Sorry I'm blabbing on your blog.

    I know I'm younger and don't have a kid, but we should go to lunch sometime.