No one ever told me I could love someone THIS MUCH! I mean I know people always say things about "a Mother's love for her babies" but I just had no idea. I didn't realize I could laugh so hard at a facial expression or be so proud to see someone roll over.
I never knew I would go into my baby's room at least twice after she's gone to sleep just to make sure she's warm and breathing and just for an excuse to see her one more time. I had no idea bath time would be fun again or seeing someone fall could hurt me more than it hurt them.
I didn't understand how natural and instinctual motherhood is. How you almost feel like a lion protecting your cub and there's nothing you wouldn't do to keep them from harm. That my body would actually have a physical reaction when I heard my baby cry.
I never would have guessed that some one's reaction to my daughter would mean more than how they treated me. That she would feel like an extension of myself. And I can't imagine how hard it will be to let her go and be her own person and make her own mistakes.
I guess if someone had told me (and maybe they did) I never would have really understood until I felt it for myself. Being a Mother has been one of the most life changing, amazing, and REAL experiences I've ever had. And I thank God for it everyday.
It makes you think how we, as kids, unknowingly treated our parents. I remember vividly one summer day my brother and I were fighting one afternoon. I was chasing him around the house and though he was always stronger, I was always faster. I caught up to him and shoved him just enough that he missed the doorway and crashed right into the wall. The sheet rock was crushed in a big oval. We knew right then we were in big trouble. When my Dad got home from work he had to see it and them discipline us both. I think back and wonder how awful he must've felt to come home from a hard day's work to find out that his two sons can't even get along. Fortunately my brother and I turned out to be best friends but I really wish I could go back to days like that and tell him how much we loved him.
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