There's nothing more annoying than a snooty bitch. You know the kind I'm talking about... The ones that act like their shit don't stank. (Yes...stank. You never say "stink" in that situation). You know, the ones that look you up and down and curl up their lip when they realize you didn't spend the past two hours in the bathroom trying to pretty yourself up just to impress them.
First let me get this straight... I have no problem with women who like to look nice. Even I (a self proclaimed Tom boy) can admit dressing up is fun. I have a problem with these snooty bitches who like to judge you because you aren't like them. It must be exhausting and painful walking around with that giant stick up their asses all the time. Not to mention BORING! I mean about 90% of my fun comes from making fun of myself, laughing at farts and thinking of different ways to get people to say cock. What would I laugh at if I didn't have those things?
Oh God, that would suck! I'm suddenly having a change of heart... Those poor women. They probably wouldn't EVER read my blog (I mean let's be honest... my blog is way too cool) but if you're out there ladies there's still time! I promise things are so much better over here on the dark side. ReDICKulously, actually. (ha ha did you see that? I wrote dick...) You wouldn't have to pretend your shit don't stank... Instead you could talk about it! In detail if you want! Man you have no idea what your missing!!
You think I could open a shelter for those poor lost souls? I could teach them how to take a joke, force them to embarrass themselves in public without crying and slowly but carefully help them remove those rods from their bungholes. (Ha ha God I'm hilarious!!)
On second thought... Never mind. I would probably end up punching one of them when they rolled their eyes at one of my jokes. When I make a joke, you laugh dammit. Eye rolling earns you a punch in the face or maybe even in the boob...boob punches hurt. I'm funny and if you don't think so, you're a douchebag. Plain and simple. And besides... Pulling sticks out of asses sounds pretty gross... Even for me.
Anyway... Just sayin' someone needs to help them girls before its too late.