Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Objectify Men.

Ok.  Time for a new movement...  It's time we women take our power back.  I mean lets keep it real, we hold all the power anyway.  It's time we put it to good use.
  First, I propose we start beauty pageants for men.  We'll call them hottie pageants or the eye candy parade.   We'll make them flex their muscles while they answer questions about cooking and how to properly worship a woman... All while shirtless of course.
  Second, we start cat calling.  When a hot guy walks into a room all the females start whistling and saying stuff like, "hey baby, nice ass!  Why don't you flex those big strong biceps for us.  Oh don't be shy hot stuff."  Wouldn't that be so much fun!!?
  Third, we start opening more male strip clubs.  Now in order to do this we have to actually go, otherwise they'll go bankrupt.  So I say when our men go to sleep and the kids are tucked nice and tight in their beds we go out, have a few beers and objectify some men!

And eventually things will catch on.  Companies will start making mud flaps for cars with silhouettes of big strong men instead of the usual chic with the big boobs.

  I mean, we spend a lot of money, ladies... We gotta start putting that money to good use!  How long has The Price Is Right been on the air?  Like 100 years!  And they are JUST NOW getting a male model to showcase the prizes!  Women have been watching that show forever!!

  My friends and I tried doing our part in college... When guys would yell "show us your tits!"  We would yell back, "show us your dicks!"  That would usually shut them up.  I have a feeling most guys are just as insecure about whipping their shlongs out as most women are about taking their shirts off ...if not more.  We even kept a stack of PlayGirls on our coffee table, just to make a point...and for some light reading after dinner.
  And one time at a frat party there were a few girls dancing on a table with their tops off and a guy was dancing with them wearing nothing but a pair of boxers.  My friend, Nichole, decided this was completely unfair so she got a handful of his shorts and pulled them down.  My friends and I thought it was hilarious but he clearly did not.  He quickly covered himself with his hands before pulling his shorts back up and probably curled into a fetal position in a corner somewhere after that.  I don't remember getting a good look at him but not long after that Nichole told us she was gay so obviously whatever he had didn't make an impression on her.
  But just remember ladies, every little bit helps.  It's time we stood up for ourselves and demanded what we want!  We have eyes, we have blood pumping through our veins, and we have needs just like the next MAN!  It's time we embrace this and start taking what's ours!!

Men, you better start workin on your abs and your dance moves cause change is comin'!!

Enough said.

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