Friday, October 19, 2012

Immaturity is underrated

Yea I'm immature.  I can admit that.
I admit I purposely avoided yard work until my husband got home just so I could ask him, "Babe, will you help me trim my bush?"  I mean how often do you get to say things like that with a straight face?
I also admit I had to hide my face when I found out my neighbor's last name is Babcock.  I wish my name had cock in it.  I would smile every time I heard it.
It doesn't take much to make me happy.  I mean every time someone goes running toward the door and yells, "I'm coming!!"  It takes all of my willpower not to tell yell, "Wait for me you selfish bastard!!"
  And don't even get me started on the shake weight... I still pray gyms will start keeping them in their weight room so I can watch people use them as I lay on the floor rolling in delight.  Who ever invented that fine piece of machinery deserves a freakin' medal.
  Ok so maybe I'm not just immature... I'm a dirty little hussy too.
This explains why my "family treasure" makes so much sense.  Apparently, I come from a long line of people who enjoy porn.  They enjoyed porn so much that they felt the need to pass it on to their kids.
  And man!  Do I LOVE the word douchebag... I use it every chance I get!  Douches are hilarious!  So are dildos but I tried calling someone a dildo once... Wasn't as funny.

Just sayin' if you do or say anything that implies sex or a private part I'm gunna laugh and you can't do shit about it.  Douchebag!

3 comments:

  1. You r so fu.... funny... lmao. U have the best outlook on things. Cindy

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  2. Hilarious!

    Let me say that first, and second I work with a girl whose sister married a man with the last name Cockshot! I agree what a great word to be part of your last name - even better if you're a guy LOL.

    Keep writing so I can keep LMFAO!

    Have a good one ;)

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  3. Cockshot is even better than Babcock!! Yes!

    ReplyDelete